Independence Days

Jul 7, 2014

Since Independence Day just passed…

 

Do you remember when you became independent?  Whether it was to dorm for college or just find a place of your own.  When you had the freedom to come and go when you wanted?

 

For me, I don’t really have much to contribute to this topic because I never really did live on my own.  When I was going through college, I was living at home – just me and my mom.  And it remained that way for a few years after while I was just working full time – until I got married.

 

So I never did have to experience cooking for myself or washing my own clothes or paying for the monthly utilities or cleaning the shower and toilet.

 

But then again, I didn’t have the freedom to have all my friends come over to party all the time.

 

On the other hand, I didn’t have to worry about all my friends coming over to party all the time.  :wink:

 

I say this because one of my friends had the best of both worlds.  He lived at home but he had a separate living quarters in the back of his house.  So we used to go over there almost every night to party.  Leaving his place like at two in the morning, wasted and tripping around the driveway – trying not to make too much noise.  So it was like he had his own pad – but just went to the main house to eat, get his laundry washed, etc.  He had it made.

 

So what was it like living on your own for the first time – always wondering what you were going to eat…

 

BreakfastLunchDinner

 

Share your independence stories.  What was it like having a place of your own?  Lonely?  Peaceful?  Party-Central?  What about laundry?  Did you have to share a washer/dryer or even go to a laundromat?  Or were you lucky enough to have your own washer/dryer?  And what about buying dishes, utensils, pots, etc. for the first time?  Tell me what I was missing.  Or not missing.

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50 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. Mark'75
    July 7th, 2014 at 6:39 am #

    Independence? Guess I haven’t really experienced total independence. Even after getting married, my wife has been the steady force at home, raising two kids, while I worked all kinds of crazy shifts, weekends, and holidays during my career. Yep, she is one special person for sure.

  2. Lowtone123
    July 7th, 2014 at 8:06 am #

    Lived at home till I was 30. I wanted to save up till I could buy a place of my own. I figured if I’m going to put money into something, it might as well be into something that is mine. Bought a one-bedroom townhouse and it was my first experience living independently. My mom taught me to wash laundry, iron, cook and even sew if I had to so I was pretty well off. I enjoyed the peace and quiet, eat when I wanted, come and go when I pleased. I really liked it. I like to cook things like soups, stews and chili but it is hard to cook for one so I ate a lot of leftovers which can be hard so I also ate a lot of takeout which isn’t good either. Fifteen years a wife and three kids later I sometimes miss and think back to those two years living alone and miss the peace and quiet.

  3. Seawalker
    July 7th, 2014 at 8:07 am #

    Independence? That’s why I like July the 4th. It’s the one day of the year I tell the wife, ‘what day are we celebrating?’ So no bother me today. Yup, the fireworks start in the morning and doesn’t end until the grand finale. :lol: I freeloaded at home as long as I could. But you know when your time is up. When you finally get your own pad, all you need is a bed, a beach chair, the TV, 1 pot, 1 dish, and 1 fork. That’s all. Otherwise, the wahines give you that puzzled look when they come over. And the best part of all this, no need to close the door when you use the toilet. :lol:

  4. Volleymom2
    July 7th, 2014 at 8:38 am #

    Independence when I went off to college in Minn. felt real grown up.

  5. Blue Jade
    July 7th, 2014 at 10:10 am #

    I went from my parent’s home to living w/ my fiance. It was an escape from my folks FINALLY more than wanting to live w/ him. Then after we got married *boom* we had a mortgage. So from home to marriage to being tied to a house. We had to save up money to buy a garden hose! All at age 21.

    I didn’t know how to cook so we ate the same 3 meals and leftovers for years. We also never ate steak for a year. Finally when we moved to Maui I started to explore my cooking and baking chops becuz I only worked part-time.

    I went from regular poor to being house rich, cash poor. Gawd that sucked. Worse (and sorry to those who are) I married a pake boy and his own mother called him a Jew Pake. So yea, it was hard.

    Finally after my divorce and moving back here for the first time I lived by myself. The first night, before my furniture arrived, I slept scared and lonely. Then a hurricane hit. Man I felt like God was punishing me for the divorce. “Eh, you promised in illness and unto death”.

    I was sooooo free for many years doing what I want, when I wanted. I ended up with another mortgage and that was a pain. So forced by circumstances I had to cook for myself still. But there were periods of going out w/ friends, and parties. Not wild kine though.

    Circumstances changed and now I’m back home again with a dementia mom. Sigh. I miss my freedom. Now at this age I’m being NAGGED again. But this what I have to do with no regrets later.

    I’m so happy though that I did not live a vanilla life like my friends. That life works for them but it will never be for me. No regrets.

  6. losthawaiian
    July 7th, 2014 at 10:33 am #

    I’ve been independent since 19. Moved away to the Big Island for school. First day there, my friend picked me up at Hilo airport and headed to go pickup my car from Young Bro.s barge. Second thing, straight to the closest liquor store for some beer. Third, set up my stereo at my new apt. and partied till the next day. Oh! So good to be young and on my own.

  7. M
    July 7th, 2014 at 11:45 am #

    Guud morning MLCers!
    I wasn’t independent until I got married at 33. Bought a house and I did mostly everything, laundry, cooking, washing dishes, cleaning the house, the bathrooms and when the kids was born I was Mr. Mom. No wonder I got divorce, I did everything…. :)

  8. dihudfan
    July 7th, 2014 at 11:49 am #

    right aftah HS… joined the army… quick way to be independent… cut the strings… lived with them aftah for a couple of months… rushed into marriage, bad idea…
    now that I’m older, I can reflect on all the lessons in life, I have learned…

  9. Blue Jade
    July 7th, 2014 at 12:06 pm #

    dihudfan – that’s why Oscar Wilde said “Youth is wasted on the young.”

    That’s why we get wise when we get older, part of our life experiences and the process called growing up.

    I think most ppl would like a do-over but unless a time machine gets invented we cope/live with our choices. Tho I tell myself w/o those experiences, good and bad, I wouldn’t be me today. Older and wiser. :D

  10. Seawalker
    July 7th, 2014 at 12:07 pm #

    One thing about living in your own pad was finally having a/c. Not just the Hawaiian a/c we all talk about by opening the windows. I probably looked at several rentals before actually signing the rental contract. The first one was a place I used to deliver papers in my younger days. It was a house but they had a place enclosed in the garage and there was a separate entrance. Perfect, I thought. So I wrote them a check for the deposit. I remember asking if the rental price was set or up for negotiation. They told me they would check with the owner. Ho, next thing I know, I get a call back asking WTH was wrong. They thought I was low-balling them. I was fine with the monthly rental if they just said ‘no’. Anyway, they returned my deposit and told me to go somewhere else.

    My next encounter was at a place I finally got a place, but in a different unit in the building. They were advertising for renters. Price was right. So I put in an application. Waited a week. Then I got a call saying they chose someone else. Fine.

    Then I saw another add in the paper. After work, I went to check it out. It was pricier, but still within my budget. The agent was showing it to another person that day. When it was my turn, she asked me to fill out an application. Then, she asked me how many people would be living there. I told her one. Next thing I knew, she started asking personal question after personal question. I didn’t mind because she was not bad looking, but did mind because she gave me the impression of being a cougar. Anyway, I decided not to take it. I also learned that wearing an aloha shirt helped my chances.

    Then, one day, I saw an add again for the second place I went to. But for another unit. I didn’t even have to apply again. They called my work place for verification. But it was really a snap. For the next several months, I paid rent. It was the only time in my life paying for rent. But the location was ideal and convenient. It might have been my exuberance. But I ended up hitting a motorcycle or a hog for you Harley enthusiasts in the garage. Heard bedroom noises on more than one occasion. And lived next to 2 mahus–why would 2 guys live in a studio together? Good thing it was a brick and mortar place. No sounds coming through the walls.

    For food, I could always cook up a big pot of something and stretch it out for the entire week. Used to buy these whole chickens and throw it in the pot to come up with a soup. Or go to Chinatown and buy a whole roast duck or shoyu chicken. Or even make a big pot of beef stew (with extra celery for good measure). I still remember. When you didn’t want to wash the dishes, you just put it in the fridge. Just re-use your bowl and fork for the next meal. Nobody, you hear me, nobody was telling ol’ Seawalker what to do.

  11. A.T.
    July 7th, 2014 at 12:07 pm #

    First time out of the house was moving into the dorms at U.H. I wanted to go to school in Oregon but it was $3,000.00 not including dorm, U.H. was $225.00 and another $225.00 for dorm and meal plan. I ended up at Johnson Hall aka Animal House. It was a good time all local bruddahs from neighbor islands and all parts of Oahu. We never locked our doors, in fact we left the doors wide open sometimes. Johnson Hall was three floors but there was a landing on the fourth floor before the roof. Two bruddahs with guitars jamming all the songs on the C and K Elua album and Jon and Randy’s J&R Incorporated album. A little beer, a little weed (grown in the closet of the dorms) and some music how can you go wrong. Free concerts or at minimal cost at Andrews Amphitheater, Olomana, Jon and Randy, Tony Tam Sing, Makaha Sons Of Niihau and of course Kanikapila sponsor by the U.H.

  12. 4G
    July 7th, 2014 at 12:45 pm #

    Totally off-topic.

    From the Star Advertiser – Hungry Ear in Kailua is Moving!

    ‘Heartsick’ Hungry Ear will move out of Kailua

    By Erika Engle

    Lease prices are driving local retail institution Hungry Ear Records from Kai­lua to Hono­lulu.

    “We are heartsick to have to move what has always been our flagship store,” said co-owner Ward Yama­shita in a statement. Rising rents and “the changing profile of Kai­lua make it impossible to stay in our current location.”

    Development of mainland retail behemoths Whole Foods and Target in Kai­lua, as well as the constant presence of high-spending visitors from Japan, mean commercial rents are going up.

    Yamashita and business partner Dennie Chong tried to find nearby lease rent cheaper than that being sought by the landlord, to no avail, each told TheBuzz.

    “For the rent they wanted here, we were able to find something for less, that was larger and offered validated parking,” Chong said.

    The new digs will be in University Square at 2615 S. King St., Suite A-100. It is at the corner of King and University Avenue, in the same small retail complex as Uyeda Shoe Store.

    That recording on vinyl has seen a resurgence has paid off for the small retailer, and being amid a larger population base and close to trend-focused university students might pay off even better.

    “New bands nowadays are releasing albums on vinyl,” said Yama­shita, naming an eclectic range of artists from the Arctic Monkeys to Lady Gaga.

    Additionally, noted jazz label Blue Note Records is celebrating its 75th anniversary by releasing five reissued classic albums each month. Classic rockers including Led Zeppelin and Kiss also are reissuing vinyl, he said.

    To answer the “Yeah, but where do I find a turntable?” question, the store sells a range of them, from $100 up to $300.

    Hungry Ear will wind down its Kai­lua inventory with a “Moving to Town” sale beginning Monday and running through its last day in Kai­lua, July 19, 35 years to the month since the store opened, Chong said.

    Chong and Yamashita plan a soft opening in the new location Aug. 1, after which store hours will be 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday. “Once we’re up and running,” the store may be open daily.

    In between the ending and the new beginning, Yama­shita and Chong will be at the Third Annual Hawaii Record Fair from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. July 27 at McKinley High School Cafeteria. Hungry Ear and other vendors from around the islands will buy, sell and trade vinyl records, CDs, cassettes and music memorabilia.

    Early admission at 9 a.m. costs $10, while admission at 10 a.m. costs $5.

    The move will be a further evolution of the Hungry Ear legacy.

    In the early 1990s it had stores in Hono­lulu and Wahiawa, as well as the flagship Kai­lua store founded by Luke Yama­shiro and friends Dennis Chun and Reyn­old Kong.

    The location at 418 Kuu­lei Road first was home for a store called Vinyl Donut and then Bullseye, Yama­shita said, “and when that went out of business, they opened Hungry Ear.” Yama­shiro had been an employee of “both previous stores,” Yama­shita said.

    The store sold music on vinyl and subsequent media platforms through good and bad economic times, through four store locations and six U.S. presidents, the partners noted.

    “We all grew up in this store,” Chong said. “Luke was a surrogate father or older brother to most of us and was a fount of musical knowledge for all of the community.” Yama­shita met his wife, Mary, at the store in 1985.

    Upon Yamashiro’s death his widow, Michelle, ran the business until 2008 when Chong and Yama­shita, both of whom had worked for Yama­shiro in previous years, assumed ownership.

    Separately, Coconut Grove Music, of which Yama­shiro was a co-founder, was willed to other family members. The music store, no longer connected to Hungry Ear, relocated in March to the second floor of the Hawaiian Water Sports building at 167 Hama­kua Drive.

    Reach Erika Engle at 529-4303, erika@staradvertiser.com or on Twitter as @erikaengle.

  13. Seawalker
    July 7th, 2014 at 1:18 pm #

    Living alone, my favorite time had to be Thanksgiving. Always used to watch my dad make the turkey, so cooking came easy to me. Anyway, I used to watch for the ads the week of Thanksgiving. Holiday Mart used to be a bird-lovers hideout. So I would buy not 1, but 2 turkeys on Thanksgiving. Made 1 on Thanksgiving Thursday, and saved the other one in the freezer to make next May. That was good thing about having your own kitchen. It didn’t hurt to have a fridge that was regular size too. Nothing went in my freezer but the 2 trays of ice. So by keeping the bird frozen, it helped with the electricity. But when it was May, I’d be having turkey again. It wasn’t the manini birds that I bought. I’d get those 20 pound ones. After cooking it, leave out what could be eaten for a week in the refer and freeze what you couldn’t finish. Those were my younger days. Nowadays, no sense putting non-quality food in your stomach. Quantity didn’t matter back then.

  14. Seawalker
    July 7th, 2014 at 1:33 pm #

    Our laundromat was upstairs on the lanai where we lived. Think it was only a buck. So was the coin-operated dryer. But it was definitely a hassle lugging the laundry basket up and down the stairs. It was one thing to put clothes in the washing machine. But you would go back to your unit while the washing machine was on. Then you had to go back and fetch your clothes. I’d try to do the laundry weekly. You see on the tube all these guys running into these babes while doing the laundry. No such luck for me. But at least I tried. Hehehe Still, the thought of using a washing machine and dryer that was shared by everyone did not appeal too much to me. But life was good. If you couldn’t get to the laundry that day, it could always wait till tomorrow. Nobody to tell you when to go to bed. Definitely, the space you occupied and needed was not shared with anyone anymore. It was July the 4th, 365 days of the year–Independence Day, every day. See what you missed, @Rod? :lol:

  15. Blue Jade
    July 7th, 2014 at 3:10 pm #

    Seawalker – your laundromat comment made me remember da dayz we used ‘em. My hubby was very particular at where we would wash our clothes. Those dayz compared to now, had plenty of ‘em. We would spend Sat. driving around to the various ones in town and he would decide which ones we would use.

    To me they all looked the same and I have no idea what his criteria was. So I’d be ‘that one’ ‘nope, we’ll keep lookng’, ‘how about dat one’, ‘no’. He told me they had to look ‘clean’. They all looked clean to me. We’d pass up to 3-4 of ‘em til he found the look he wanted. Finally when Mr. So Tight he Squeaked when he Walked bought us a washing machine.

    One of the many reasons we did not last.

  16. Mark'75
    July 7th, 2014 at 3:13 pm #

    @4G: Nice story! Sometimes I like to stop off at Hungry Ear or Jelly’s to search for some rare music. Once in a while can find some real gems!

  17. 4G
    July 7th, 2014 at 3:20 pm #

    UH Dorms – don’t forget the pizza!!! ;)

    I went straight from living at home to being married and living “on your own”. Wasn’t quite “your own”, cause there was one other.

    When I first got separated, what must have been some 19 years ago, I was a little more “on my own”, but was still dependent on the generousness of others, so still not quite totally on my own. It was more “on my own” than married life, though.

    I like it. :) I have truly been “on my own” now for what must be coming on four years. I like it. :)

    Did I mention that I like it??? LOL.

    A definite plus is an in-unit washer/dryer. Cooking (kinda/sorta LOL), cleaning, and ironing were not new chores for me. So, if anything, upon getting separated/divorced, maybe had to learn to do laundry. I knew the concept (separate colors, etc.). My sister turned me on to the cold wash. LOL – screw the color separation, just wash everything at once! LOL. In the early times, I actually had to hang laundry, too! LOL.

    I like not having to justify myself and doing just about anything, within reason, that you might want to. Stay up/out to all hours, eat, sleep, bathe when you want. I like the independence to unilaterally do stuff like buy and learn to ride a Solowheel! LOL. That one might have been tough to justify had I been married . . . .

    Of course, now that I have a “bachelor pad”, I’m too old for it! LOL.

    One concern for folks might be that there’s no one to make sure you got home okay, or are just okay, in general. This doesn’t concern me much. My solution – just gotta make sure to always carry an ID – so they can identify the body! LOL.

  18. Seawalker
    July 7th, 2014 at 3:34 pm #

    @4G – “…One concern for folks might be that there’s no one to make sure you got home okay, or are just okay, in general. This doesn’t concern me much. My solution – just gotta make sure to always carry an ID – so they can identify the body! LOL.”
    _____

    That was the scary part of being on your own. One time, I was catching the bus and fell asleep. Somehow, my arm must’ve been positioned under my head that it cut off circulation to my arm entirely. Shoots, when I woke up, the dang arm had no feeling at all. Thought it was going to go away. No way. Stayed like that for a good while. When I got home to my ‘independence pad’, I had no one to ask me what was wrong. With nobody to tell me, ‘no worries, it’s going be okay’, I called Physician’s Exchange so I could ask my doctor if it was okay or not. Anyway, point is, when you’re among the roaches and lizards only, nothing is more soothing than another human voice. Even though first thing you hear is, ‘Seawalker, you forgot to take out the trash again.’ :lol: BTW, no need id. Rotting flesh is pungent enough and someone will report it sooner or later. :lol:

  19. 4G
    July 7th, 2014 at 3:47 pm #

    @Seawalker – LOL! Yeah, I agree no need ID in the apartment. I was thinking when you out and about . . . . ;)

  20. Seawalker
    July 7th, 2014 at 3:49 pm #

    @Blue Jade – Your ex and I have a lot in common. Hubby might have squeaked while he walked, but so do I. At least he bought a washing machine. Me? I would have MacGuyver it. Just jump in the shower with your clothes on. Takes care of 2 things at once. While showering, you are also washing your clothes at the same time. :lol: But think of it this way. At least you are with your mother as she will eventually ride off to the sunset one day. My mother is on the mainland now. Used to take her to lunch ever so often when she was here because she enjoyed going to lunch with my father when he was alive. It was a chore to do that. But now that she’s no longer here, whenever I call her, she still gives me ‘advice’ about life in general. I know, and have heard from others, when this stops, the silence from a mother’s words will be deafening. :wink:

  21. Seawalker
    July 7th, 2014 at 5:45 pm #

    Gaining your independence, unfortunately sometimes, mean living by yourself. If the thought of going to the movies by yourself or eating out alone in a restaurant scares you, then you might have a hard time adjusting. It’s not so much eating by yourself that you are afraid of. It’s what you perceive what others are thinking of you. Being alone is commonly thought of as being a loser. No one wants to hang with a loser. Or being alone means you have issues hanging around people. When Football coach Bob Wa(g)ner was eating dinner alone at Hy’s Steakhouse one night, another lady was also dining alone. Well, guess what? They ended up hooking up and marrying with each other. That’s what I thought I read anyway. But human beings are social animals by nature. But not true for some of the bruddhas out there. They need their caves. They need their bonding time with their tools. They are possessive. They act like they need their space. But you just know they stay acting only. ..lost my train of thought. At’s okay… happens often anyway. :lol:

  22. Blue Jade
    July 7th, 2014 at 6:03 pm #

    Seawalker – thanx for the da reminder on my mom. On a day to day basis, the stress is taking a toll. Alzeihmer’s is not called the Long Goodbye for nuthin. And it’s not only the memory/communication issues. It slowly changes them into a stranger, like an alien inhabiting their body. She looks, talks and can act like my mom, but at other times she is a total stranger doing sometimes embarassing things in public. But otherwise she is more healthy than me, I take more pills than her.

    I am a true loner, very solitary. I have friends that if I chose I can reach out and contact but I rather not. There was a time when I was lonely early on when I got divorced. But now I am alone and I LOVE it. Well except now I live w/ my mom.

    I lived decades by myself until recently and I am fine with it. When I worked there were always get togethers that I could chose to go. Most times not. I’m just happy being in my own girly cave doing what I like to do.

    I’ve always had dogs, other pets, so I never felt very alone. And becuz of them I didn’t feel scared or in danger. I’m talking and playing with them throughout the day so it’s not like I have no contact with the world.

    And of course, if you have the internet, you can be connected across the globe. :D

  23. 4G
    July 7th, 2014 at 7:12 pm #

    I read a saying recently that said something along the lines of, “You’re only lonely if you don’t like the company you’re with.” ;)

  24. 4G
    July 7th, 2014 at 7:52 pm #

    LOL – but to be clear, we talking “independence”, not imposed (whether self or otherwise) solitude, right? ;)

  25. khs68
    July 7th, 2014 at 8:02 pm #

    Independence for me meant leaving mom and dad.

    I was so happy when I got married and moved into my own house. I could leave all the lights on even when no one was in the room, leave the t.v. on during bathroom breaks, look in the refrigerator for as long as liked, cook whatever I wanted, buy groceries that were not on sale, and the best — take long showers without having to turn the water off for scrubbing.

  26. Seawalker
    July 7th, 2014 at 8:10 pm #

    As A Husband Becomes Caregiver To His Wife, A Marriage Evolves

    When Rick Rayburn retired from the California State Parks system, he had his heart set on balmy days of gardening, playing tennis and traveling to France with his wife, Marianne.

    But then, about three years ago, she was diagnosed with dementia. It disrupted the couple’s lives from top to bottom, right on the cusp of retirement. At 67, Rick has taken on a big new role.

    “I’m 100 percent responsible for her well-being. I have to help her pick her clothes out, be there when she’s getting dressed,” he says. “I can’t leave her alone too often. I can run out and empty the trash cans or do this or that. And that’s always a game you play: How long can I run out and brush my teeth and get shaved without something happening on her side?”

    Rick is one of 15 million Americans caring for a family member with dementia. That thought may conjure images of boomers caring for elderly parents, but if early-onset dementia is in play, it’s a completely different equation. A spouse often becomes the round-the-clock caregiver.

    Rick rarely stops moving. By 6 a.m., he’s up fixing breakfast for Marianne, 64, and he stays on duty until Marianne goes to bed at 10 p.m. There’s no spare time to tend his vegetable garden. Rick’s busy making sure his wife keeps her weight up — and colors her hair.

    “Are you in the hair-doing business these days?” Marianne asks Rick as he prepares to dye her hair at the couple’s home outside Sacramento, Calif. “Honey, have you ever used the hair stuff?”

    “Me? Yeah, I did your hair in the hospital,” Rick says.

    The reality is, Rick has played hairdresser many times. Marianne just doesn’t remember.

    He also bathes his wife, sets out her clothes and styles her hair with a straightening iron. He cooks from scratch every day.

    Rick’s goal is to keep Marianne at home for as long as possible. He’s confident he can handle the many physical demands of caregiving. It’s the social isolation that’s brutal for Rick. He says their social life as a couple evaporated when Marianne’s dementia accelerated.

    “It’s hard as a caregiver to know how to relate to people in a way that doesn’t just turn them off. You’re a broken record. The disease part of a life, the downside, it’s not all that interesting, and it’s not relationship-building,” Rick says. “It’s more just reporting the facts of a crummy situation.”

    To help deal with the stress and loneliness of dementia care, Rick goes to a caregiver support group for men.

    “Your world becomes very small, and as things get worse, the friends that were helping a little bit kind of drop off. So you tend to be isolated,” says Carol Kinsel, a geriatric care manager who hosts the group.

    It’s common to find men in this role grappling with a changing sense of identity, Kinsel says, no matter what age group they fall into.

    “The older generation, it’s really going to be a role reversal. I think the younger generation is more used to maybe participating, but it’s still a big change because they have this wife who played a huge role in their marriage that’s so-called fading or changing, and they’re trying to pick up the pieces that she filled in the marriage,” she says.

    Marianne no longer recognizes that she’s married to Rick, and has been for 42 years.

    Dementia has transformed her into someone who’s dependent and vulnerable. That’s triggering changes within Rick, too. He’s noticed himself gravitating toward traits Marianne was known for, like empathy.

    “The importance of listening and caring for others. Now I can see why that is so important and why you can go through life just giving and feeling totally satisfied. You know, that’s a good thing,” Rick says.

    Marianne may no longer be the woman Rick married, but he says she’s still helping him become a better husband.

    You can hear and read much more about Rick and Marianne Rayburn as well as other family caregivers in KXJZ Capital Public Radio’s documentary series Who Cares.

  27. 4G
    July 7th, 2014 at 8:52 pm #

    @khs68 – “As long as you’re living under this roof . . . ” line. I can relate! LOL.

    @Seawalker – dementia/Alzheimer’s is a tough one, especially on those closest to the patient. I give those that are caregivers a lot of credit.

  28. khs68
    July 7th, 2014 at 9:35 pm #

    Yep. Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I’m free at last!

    Distance makes the heart grow fonder… it’s true!!

  29. 4G
    July 8th, 2014 at 5:38 am #

    It’s amazing to me how the initial setup of a house/home gets expensive quickly. All those little things sure start to add up. For example, just starting a spice rack, or establishing an inventory of condiments. It’s amazing how relatively expensive spices are.

    Then there are furnishings and little things like plates, pots and pans, glasses and utensils. Now, if you want toys, too – well, that will be significantly extra! LOL.

  30. 4G
    July 8th, 2014 at 5:52 am #

    Saw a pedestrian lying in the street this morning. Looks like he got hit by a full-sized Chevy truck. Not good. The body didn’t look too bad, but he was motionless, lying on his side.

    I swear, pedestrian accidents/fatalities have gone up since they introduced that new pedestrian “right of way” law. Some of these pedestrians be crazy – thinking the law is going to protect them. Ummm-that’s two-tons of metal bearing down on you and, often, not slowly, either! Oh – and often times, they don’t even see your a**!

  31. 4G
    July 8th, 2014 at 6:30 am #

    Uh oh – two bulletins now characterizing the pedestrian accident as “fatal” . . . .

  32. 4G
    July 8th, 2014 at 7:55 am #

    Looks like DUI case. That full-sized Chevy truck, it turns out, must have just been blocking the lane so no one runs over the poor guy again. One photo I saw showed like a sedan being involved.

  33. 4G
    July 8th, 2014 at 7:56 am #

    So – how much does it cost to set-up a household? I guess a lot depends on your standard of living. I’m not talking extravagant, but I’m not talking sleeping on the floor, empty boxes for furniture, etc., either.

    My guesstimate is, over time, about $20K. This is not a scientific number. LOL. I come to that number because that was the amount of debt that I ended up accruing, over time, with the large majority of that sum going to “household” things. You know, the essentials like the 50” rear projection Pioneer TV (this is back in the late 80’s/early 90’s), surround sound, etc. LOL. Okay, there were some “luxury” purchases involved in that, but for the most part, not really.

    So, get married, end up with $20K debt. Get divorced, got some of the assets, but not much – can you say 50” rear projection TV? LOL. $20K debt extinguished in the divorce settlement. But within a year or two? $20K debt again. LOL.

    The third time was a bit easier. Never had the big capital outlay upfront on assets (that would come a little later), because already had a “household”. Microwave here, ceiling fan there, new light switches, new electrical outlets, new coverplates – ah, just several hundred dollars. A lot cheaper to establish a household if you already have most of the stuff. Oh – but had to pay movers, though! LOL.

  34. Seawalker
    July 8th, 2014 at 7:58 am #

    Figured most people’s independence was gained via the U.H. dorms route. My bruddha stayed at the apartments on lower campus, but I stayed right at the comfort of home. Funny, the buggah would end up coming home for dinner on Sundays. But the dorms gave me fond memories of my time served at U.H. J-Hall was known as party central when I was there. But went out with couple of chicks living at Frear and Gateway. So they would tell me about life living in the dorms. Aside from the pick-up games at Klum every Friday afternoon, going to the dorm dances was a close second. These weren’t frat or sorority parties, but a party for the residences of the dorms. Think my independence came in the form of studying in Hamilton and Sinclair libraries. Every night, after dinner, without fail, it was off to the library. Yeah, we didn’t study 100% of the time. During finals, it was a side trip to Burger King for a quick snack. But I probably studied way more than the dorm people. Relative though. Ahhh, good to re-live the ol’ college days.

  35. Kailua girl
    July 8th, 2014 at 8:03 am #

    I happily moved out Labor Day weekend – less than three months after graduating from high school! Financially, it was a MAJOR struggle…saving one pay check and more than half of the second one each month to pay my rent, but it was SO worth the freedom. Tough times…omelettes, salads, tuna, pbj’s and when things got really bleak? Rice with Tropics Dressing. I can’t use that dressing at all anymore. After a year of working and going to school full time, it was time to have roommates.

    The only problem with a roommate is when they have a boyfriend that still lives at home and he spends most of his time at your apartment! I ended up using our apartment as a “storage unit” and was at MY boyfriend’s all the time.

  36. Seawalker
    July 8th, 2014 at 8:17 am #

    Eh, @4G, LOL, you save money by having your friends help you move. My first TV was a tiny-a$$ set that I could fit on top of my wooden shelf. But had cable. Used the same beach chair I kept in my car as furniture for the apartment. Bed was right next to the kitchen because it was only a studio. In fact, one night, one of my pans in the dish rack fell to the tiled floor and scared the $hit out of me. Brah, the money you saved went to the outings at the nightclubs, mostly for drinks. Or going to the movies. Used to go out on a work night too. Wednesday nights were ladies’ night. But heck, YOLO and you only young once, so and but nobody could tell Seawalker what to do. Except for myself, I guess. :lol:

  37. khs68
    July 8th, 2014 at 8:41 am #

    Driving on S. King Street between Punahou and Isenberg is like playing Frogger with all those mid-block crosswalks.

  38. Seawalker
    July 8th, 2014 at 8:59 am #

    Anuddah dangerous place to cross is the Pali. At one time, a lot of people was getting run over. The people drive down the Pali like there’s no tomorrow. The population in Hawaii in getting older and we’re going to have more accidents. More so, we’ll be the old-futs soon. Having flashing yellow lights won’t do it. It’s either got to be a red light to bring all the cars to a stop or to build a elevated walkway.

  39. Seawalker
    July 8th, 2014 at 12:45 pm #

    Used to own a spice rack. But majority of the spices were never used. Pohol. Nowadays, I’m more of a salt and pepper kind of dude. Everything goes good with salt and pepper. Steak? Salt and pepper, of course. Fried rice? Salt and pepper, no doubt. Also have a bottle of oyster sauce for those grey area dishes. Hmmm? Should I or should I not? When that happens, it’s time to bust out the oyster sauce. Used to leave out the bottle of soy sauce in the cupboard. Nope, not anymore. I stick that buggah in the fridge just to make sure it won’t go bad. Tip for the first pad guys. Salt and pepper is all you need.

  40. khs68
    July 8th, 2014 at 1:12 pm #

    I keep garlic powder in the fridge so it doesn’t get hard and caked-up.

  41. 4G
    July 8th, 2014 at 1:34 pm #

    I was watching an episode of Alton Brown’s “Good Eats” the other week. It was about corn and, specifically, popping corn.

    Alton said that putting uncooked rice in table salt to prevent caking/lumping is an old wives’ tale – that uncooked rice was not really a desiccant (really?) and that it was the “knocking” around of the uncooked rice with the salt that caused the salt to not clog/clump/cake. He said using unpopped popcorn would be better – mainly because uncooked rice will eventually begin to physically breakdown into smaller pieces (undoubtedly from all that salt “knocking”) and eventually end up being dispensed as “salt”.

    I dunno . . . .

  42. 4G
    July 8th, 2014 at 6:39 pm #

    Sorry – totally off-topic.

    That pedestrian accident this morning. At that time in the morning, it is dark out. The street, is lit decently, though likely would not be categorized as “well lit”. I remember seeing the guy lying on his side this morning. He was wearing a white T-shirt and very light, like, khaki shorts. I remember thinking at the time, “Well, as far as clothing, he did his part – ought to be visible enough even in the early morning conditions.”

    The evening news showed the car and damage. Man – I looked at the car damage and thought, “Wow, she had to have hit him pretty hard.” In addition to suspected DUI, I think she was going kind of fast, too. I cannot help but wonder if she even had her headlights on. She would not have needed her headlights to see him, but it may very well have been more of a challenge for him to see her if her headlights weren’t on, even more so if she was coming faster than the norm . . . .

  43. Seawalker
    July 8th, 2014 at 7:28 pm #

    Ever saw an accident on the freeway from a good vantage viewpoint? If you are at a high point on the freeway and all of a sudden see an accident, it looks really neat. All the taillights start to come on like a spider web. It starts from the center and works its way out. After you go ‘wow’, you then go ‘cr@ppola’. You know you’ll be stuck in traffic until you get past the accident.

    Another food tip someone told me is when you buy a bunch of bananas from Costco, leave it in the bag so it can ripen faster. When it turns yellow, take the bananas apart one by one so the process slows down. Either that or eat the whole shebang before it turns black. Another tip for the independent people out there.

  44. 1oldfut
    July 9th, 2014 at 6:50 am #

    @ Blue Jade
    Hang in there!

  45. 4G
    July 9th, 2014 at 7:11 am #

    Re: Bananas

    Did you know that it’s easier to peel a banana open from the bottom?

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/good-to-share/10664935/The-right-way-to-peel-a-banana.html

    And, if the bananas turn black, make banana bread! LOL.

  46. BlueJadeHawaii
    July 9th, 2014 at 10:46 am #

    1oldfut: thanks for your kind words, much appreciated.

    Solitary can be self imposed as part of a choice to be independent.

  47. Seawalker
    July 9th, 2014 at 1:19 pm #

    Good to hear from you, @Blue Jade. You can jaw-jack anytime over here. Lots of opinions, but something will tickle your fancy and surely spark your interest. How da sashimi went?

  48. Jibo's Brother
    July 9th, 2014 at 1:28 pm #

    Rodney-was that friend Jibo? haha.

  49. Blue Jade
    July 9th, 2014 at 2:15 pm #

    Seawalker: man it was beyond good. I never ate so much sashimi in one sitting cuz the buggahs was thick. Still had leftover which I had the next day but wasn’t as fresh as the day before. It wasn’t fishy tasting too. I got my fill of sashimi for the rest of the year!

  50. LINDA KATO
    July 10th, 2014 at 7:12 am #

    Enjoyed all of your stories :!: A bit late in getting here….. am doing too much these days…..